Joe Biden, and his campaign, once again has prepared to tell all Black Americans that if they do not “Vote for him, then they are not black.” Biden will reuse this campaign promise once again from the 2020 campaign, where he was on a podcast with Charlamagne tha God.
Biden, surrounded by his nurse and wife, Dr. Jill Biden, was preparing for a crucial meeting with black voters. As he stood at his presidential table, a mischievous glint sparkled in his eye. He then looks at Dr. Jill and says “Teacher, I’ve got an slidendida,” Biden declared, his tone tinged with a peculiar mix of confidence and confusion. “Not a joke, I’ve got this knack for making black people vote for me.”
“I’ve been thinking,” Biden continued, leaning forward conspiratorially. “What if I tell black voters that if they don’t vote for me, they’re not really black? It’s the perfect strategy! My father told me while sitting at his kitchen table in Scranton, Delaware, ‘give them a little breathing room, then threaten them.’ I love it!”
The room fell silent for a moment as the “advisor/doctor” processed the suggestion. Finally, Dr. Jill, told Joe, “No” and he tried to bite her finger. Biden chuckled, waving around his chocolate chip ice cream cone. “I’m just being prerelatable, connecting with the people. It’s like when I say, ‘C’mon, man!’ They love it!” Biden imagined embarking on his mission to charm black voters by questioning their racial authenticity. The campaign rally is to be set in an area impacted by Bidenomics, adorned street graffiti and illegals housed in inner city houses.
Biden, undeterred, also plans to trample in the garden of his former stories. He told Dr. Jill, “I mean, look at me! I was practically raised in a Puerto Rican-Black-Jewish-Catholic family. Call Cornpop, he and I go way back, and I’ve got more soul than a record player.” Dr. Jill sighed and reminded her husband it was time for his nightly dose of Cholinesterase inhibitor and Memantine. “Finish your ice cream Joe,” Dr. Jill said, “so you can take your puffer and candy.”
We shall yet to see if the Biden team rolls out this political strategy, but I’m sure in time Biden will say something else stupid we can discuss.
